When it comes time to meet, many online daters begin to panic. Sure, the relative anonymity that online flirting brings is a blast, but doesn’t it have to progress? Evolve? Become real?
The answer to those questions is–maybe. Many people get on dating sites mostly to flirt and see what’s out there. In the past year Match.com launched a new ad campaign telling potential customers that “it’s okay to look.” So, there is definitely a segment of the population that is more interested in seeing than doing.
For everyone else, the question is what’s the most appropriate way to meet? If you’re a veteran of blind dates then some of this advice might not be true. The trick is to realize that people lie, and to prepare yourself for it. Just because someone presents themselves one way online, does not mean reality will reflect that image.
- A public place is almost always a safe bet. The last thing you want to do is put yourself or your date in a compromising position. A mall or restaurant (or perhaps a restaurant in a mall?) work nicely. Women, especially, can feel compromised not meeting in a public space. Your date will feel much more comfortable and be more fun if she isn’t worried about her safety at the same time.
- Something short as the first meeting is a good idea. Meet for coffee and you won’t be tied down for that first meeting. The last thing you won’t to do is be committed to a three hour date with someone you’ve never met. If the initial meeting goes well, you can always extend coffee to a full dinner.
- Lay off the gifts. Everyone is flattered by a box of candy, but it might not be the best initial impression. Gifts on a first date can come off as needy, which is especially bad when the other person is likely already nervous about meeting a stranger. Nobody is desperately seeking a stalker.
- Be sure you recognize who you are meeting, and they you. Pictures tend to lie, as they could be headshots only, or even from five years ago. People are going to put their best foot forward online when it comes to image, but people rarely look that good on a daily basis. Women especially can look dramatically different due to something as mundane as a recent haircut. Tell the other person what you’ll be wearing or come up with some other sign to look for. You can even exchange cell phone numbers, but only if you’re comfortable (the last thing you want is a stalker phoning in).
- Enjoy it for what it is–meeting a new person. People tend to get too hung up on acting perfectly for that first encounter and they forget to enjoy the experience. There’s the chance that you will stutter out your responses while at the same time putting your foot in your mouth–that’s the dating life. If you go into it more relaxed you will likely impress more and actually enjoy the experience–even if they aren’t “the one.”
Related posts:
- Online dating: effective vs. affective
- Online dating: dating vs. relationship sites
- Online dating: publishing your profile
- Four mistakes to avoid in online dating profiles
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