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Sep
21st

Andrea: not drunk enough to settle down

Files under Stories | Posted by Justin |

hard-liquor.gifAndrea was someone I dated while in graduate school. She attended a different college where she played basketball. She was tall and good looking, but I think slightly out of her mind.

We met online, and talked for a couple of weeks before finally meeting. During this time, I learned that she had recently ended a serious relationship because the guy was not interested in settling down. Not a good sign that she’s on the rebound, but not a bad sign that she’s interested in settling down. I’m no mother hen, but nor have I ever been much of a “player,” as the cool kids are so fond of saying these days. Regardless, she seemed pretty excited about going out and I have to admit–so was I.

We finally did meet and go out a couple of times. Dates were good. She was pretty. I was charming. She said I was basically the perfect guy (I don’t let such flattery go to my head–most days). Things seemed to be going really well until she called me up one day and said she was too busy to go out. I know as well as anyone that “too busy” often translates into “too uninterested.” Still, no rule is universal and things seemed to turn on a dime pretty quick. I decided to give it some time and see what came of things.

After a week or so of continued talking but no dates, I had the megaton dropped on me. When asked point blank what was going on, I was informed that, and I quote, “You don’t drink enough.” Excuse me? Pardon my hearing, it is limited on my left side. Did you say I don’t drink enough?

In full disclosure, I do not drink–at all. However, I don’t consider myself a prude when it comes to alcohol, as I am usually up for going to a bar to hear music with friends. Still, my mind rushed back. Had we even discussed drinking? Yes, actually we had. In the middle of speaking about the problems with her ex, one of the themes she brought up was his wild drinking. Basically, the guy was one shot short of an AA membership card. She even said she hated going to bars all the time with him.

Noting all of this, how could I not drink enough–especially for someone wanting to settle down? I could see if I had a strong anti-drinking opinion, but I really didn’t. I just had to ask her. “You said you thought I was perfect?” She acknowledged her comment. “So, all things being considered, I would really be the perfect guy if I just had more of a drinking problem?” That was that.

In fairness, perhaps she just wanted someone who did mind sucking back a couple of Zimas with her. That’s fair, and I hold no grudge over it. Still, ladies, if you are going to go off on a fit about the major problem with your last boyfriend, do not punish your new date for lacking said problem. We’ll chalk it up under the “Damned If You Do & Damned If You Don’t Rule.”


Have you ever dated someone that may have benefited from an alcohol rehab center? Alcohol can be fun, but it can also be very dangerous, especially if your date is showing signs of pregnancy. Pregnant women should be very careful about what they intake, and should steer clear of alcohol and check the nutrition facts on everything they eat.


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