If there’s one critical mistake people make in online dating it usually occurs in their profile. No, not the more ethereal mistakes you might make such as a bad headline, but the more obvious ones. Below are four of the most egregious errors people can make.
Leading with your worst feature
This may seem like common sense, but if you’ve been on any online dating service you know many people make this mistake. So, what is meant by worst feature? Well, if you’re unemployed, it is perhaps best not to list it first in your description. Same for the massive amount of debt you have, the fact that your last five boyfriends dumped you, etc.
No, this is not advocating for lying. There is a thin line between the two and sometimes people get confused. Still be honest with matches about such issues. Instead, consider leading with your best features such as your sense of humor, or being a good conversationalist. Everyone has baggage to unload and there’s no reason you have to well before anyone else.
Not just bad photos, but unappealing photos
Most people cannot and should not have professional photos done to place online. It seems incredibly needy and is just a bit over done. On the other hand, neither should you pick at random from your photo album, nor have someone randomly email you one featuring you from theirs.
What is meant by this? Have you ever seen the photo of the obviously attractive person just in their sweats? Their appeal factor drops significantly to most people, partly on the basis that this appears to be someone who doesn’t care to take care of themselves. There’s nothing wrong with going casual, but an old faded pair of blue jeans and a stained t-shirt are not the casual you are looking for. Try business casual, instead.
Presenting someone you wouldn’t be interested in
This third mistake really ties into the previous two, and that’s presenting someone that even you wouldn’t be interested in. It’s amazing how many online daters do just this. Not only do they feature unflattering photos and post their worst features up front, but they make themselves out to be the most boring person in the world.
This can often be chalked up to spending no real time on the profile part when signing up to a site. Here’s a good rule of thumb: spend at least as much time on your profile as you do in the bathroom getting ready each morning. Any less and you’re doing something wrong. Craft something interesting about yourself, even if it’s just about the cool new restaurant you tried. Give that reader a reason not to hit the back button on their browser.
Being too quick with the reject or delete button
This is perhaps the cardinal sin that most online daters commit. Just because dating sites allow for you to filter down searches into your choosiest of choices doesn’t mean that’s all you should be interested in. Many fantastic relationships have been forged between two people who were not each other’s ideal.
Instead, try giving the other person a chance to impress you. Yes, they should have done so at the profile stage, but many people don’t put their best foot forward until the personal communication stage. Give them a shot. If after a couple of emails you are no more interested then you have probably at worst wasted five minutes. What’s five minutes in the pursuit of love?
Loading ...